I’ve decided that I will put more of my life into this blog rather than just reblogging photos all the time. I don’t know if this is a good idea since it’s the internet. But as a whole I am far too private to everyone apart from a few people so I think maybe it will help me to get a handle on my emotions and be able to express them better in words.
I am really making a massive effort at the moment not to be too emotional and try channel all my over-analyzing into practical thoughts. It’s harder than it sounds, because I am sickeningly thin-skinned. It’s something I can’t decide on whether to hate or be grateful for. Generally when I am with equally reflective people it seems like a gift and connecting with people is what I think life is all about for me. When I’m around shallow people, or noisy scenes I feel vulnerable and weak and different. I guess I just need to find the right kind of people to be around.
There is someone who keeps letting me down at the moment, and it’s not really serious, but being the sensitive soul I seem to be it’s really upsetting me. I think I place too much hope in other people especially when it comes to friendship and love. I really feel a connection with this person like I haven’t for a long time and it hurts when she takes it so lightly. Words are good, but actions have to match which they never do in this case.
I’m about to drive home to Sydney. The three hour drive which I do twice a week between Sydney and Canberra is so frustrating. I love the time I get to be alone and listen to the music I want and think about everything. But twice a week is so much.
